Heil Honey, I'm Home!

I've sat here for the past 15 minutes trying to think of a clever way to begin this post, but you know what, I don't think anything I can come up with will come close to simply summarizing what I'm going to talk about. This post is about Heil Honey I'm Home, a 1990 British sitcom in which Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun live next door to a Jewish couple.

Yeah, this is a show that actually exists. More accurately, I should say that one episode exists - the show was so controversial that the show was pulled immediately after the first episode aired.

Now, a couple things need to be said right up front. As my taste in entertainment proves, when it comes to comedy, I'm not easily offended. The thing is, though, if a comedian wants to tackle something offensive, like the fucking Holocaust, they need to be really, really good at what they do. The Holocaust isn't funny in itself - it was one of the greatest tragedies in the history of the human race. To transform that into something funny? You need skill.

Ricky Gervais, in this clip, uses the Holocaust to ridicule the appropriation of profound philosophical thought by evil men.  We laugh at the Holocaust here, but we don't trivialize it - the laughter comes from the absurdity of someone going from reading On The Genealogy of Morals to deciding to kill six million Jews, and somehow thinking this to be a logical progression. That, in essence, is what is required to do offensive humor effectively.

So does Heil Honey I'm Home meet that requirement? Absolutely not, although not in the way I was expecting. Here's the full episode, so you to can revel in the...comedy? Sure, we'll go with that.

The first thing we notice is the bizarre meta-joke that introduces the episode. In-universe, Heil Honey I'm Home was the product of an American TV producer, Brandon Thalburg, who recorded the show in the 50s and was subsequently lost. The show itself makes no reference to this "joke" after this point, so I have no idea why they even decided to include it. Perhaps the producers understood how controversial this show was going to be, so shifting the blame onto a fictitious American producer somehow absolves them of the guilt? Haha, no.

The reference to the 50s is important, however, as this show is meant to evoke the feel of shows like I Love Lucy, or maybe, since that's actually a good show, I should say it's meant to evoke all the shows that weren't funny enough to be I Love Lucy. Canned Laughter, wacky improbable situations, everything that characterized old school sitcoms at their worst are all here.

Before continuing, let me give a very brief summation of what happens in this episode. Hitler and Eva are hosting British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, who is coming to discuss the Fuhrer's recent invasion of Czechoslovakia. The one thing Hitler doesn't want to happen is for their nosy (Jewish) neighbors, the Goldensteins, to find out about the visit. Of course, Eva blabs about it, and now the Goldensteins want to set their daughter Ruth up with the PM. That's basically it.

Do you notice what I notice? Despite how ridiculous the show's premise is, the episode summary is, honestly, pretty tame. That, ironically, is the most offensive part of this show: Heil Honey I'm Home takes absolutely no comedic risks whatsoever. In fact, if it wasn't for the lead actor's costume, I probably would have forgotten that this is supposed to be a show about Hitler. Sure, he brings up Goebbels a few times, and the episode hinges on signing a treaty regarding the Czech invasion, but for the most part, it's basically about a couple and their kooky antics. The fact that it's Hitler is, weirdly, almost an afterthought. Consider this: at no point does Hitler, the man responsible for the murder of over 6 million European Jews, make any reference to the fact that the Goldensteins are Jewish.

This is, I think, a huge deal. By not having the balls to say or do anything truly offensive, Hitler is reduced to some sort of Everyman archetype. He gets into fights with his wife! He doesn't like his neighbors! He's got to impress a VIP! He's just like us! Only, you know, he's Hitler.

In a way, watching Heil Honey I'm Home was a lot like watching Triumph of the Will, the Nazi propaganda film commissioned to show off the greatness of the newly resurrected Germany. Of course, this being a Nazi propaganda film, some important things were left out. Those exact same things were left out of this show. At worst, this makes Heil Honey I'm Home appear to trivialize the horrors of the Nazi regime - at best, it makes the show lazy and existentially questionable. The same questions I posed in my Power Rangers post apply here - why did they even make this show about Hitler if they weren't going to even try to tackle what made Hitler Hitler?

Since the creators of the show don't even attempt any of that, what we're left with is a series of stale sitcom cliches, bad writing, and atrocious acting. Only once did I laugh, near the middle of the episode where Hitler messes with someone on the other end of the phone, pretending briefly to be "Bob Hitler." Other than that, nothing. What was supposed to be the funniest joke of the episode, if we're going by the volume of the canned laughter, comes at the beginning, when Eva screams to her husband, "I knew you when you were just a house painter!" Impressive indeed, considering that, when I heard it, I didn't think it was actually a joke.

Yes, it seems as though the writers of this piece of shit have a very, very different idea of what's funny than I do. You want proof? Look at how long some of their jokes go on for. When Eva and Mrs. Goldenstein are playing charades, it goes on for what seems like half the episode. But I know that isn't true, because, as it turns out, the scene where Neville Chamberlain and the Goldensteins get drunk does, in fact, go on for literally half the episode. It's not funny for one goddamn second. Now I know where Seth MacFarlane got his inspiration for the recent seasons of Family Guy!

I'm sorry guys. I'm so, so sorry.

I honestly wish there was more to say about Heil Honey I'm Home. I mean, it's a sitcom starring the most evil dictator in human history - I should be able to write an entire fucking book on the subject. But I can't, because it's just bad - and I don't mean bad in the same way The Room is bad, I mean bad in the same way that listening to The Black Eyed Peas is bad.  

Don't watch this show if you want to laugh, because you won't. Don't watch this show if you want a clever World War II satire, because it's not. Hell, don't even watch this show if you want to be offended, because you won't be. You want something offensive? Watch The King of Queens. It's a sitcom, starring Kevin James, that CBS kept on the air for nine straight seasons - that right there makes it more of an affront to the standards of human decency than Heil Honey I'm Home will ever be.

Fuck the world.